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’ ‘Come on Julie,’ I said with perhaps a too optimistic tone of voice, ‘go on-line, go to a bar. Take a singles cruise…’ ‘I’ve never dated in my life, other than Bill. I wouldn’t even know how to act.’ ‘Come on Julie. You’re a perfectly fine, intelligent, good looking woman.’ She stared at me. ‘I know you’ve been through a lot,’ I continued. ‘Before Bill got diagnosed you were a glorious, vivacious woman. Full of energy, funny, fun.’ She continued to stare at me, with no emotion to her face. ‘That woman is still inside you.’ ‘That was eight years ago.’ She said dismissively. ‘That’s exactly my point Julie,’ I said to her, ‘before Bill died, you had to deal with Bill, the kids, the house. I know it was stressful and you didn’t have a choice.’ I paused for a moment then added, ‘I suppose you could have simply run away from it all, but you didn’t Julie. You did the right thing. What a loving wife and what a loving parent would do. I have a lot of respect for how you dealt with it. And I. They were lucky to have any shot at all, given the increased strain on our medical supplies. We were also rather tired, but what else was new? We operated on adrenaline, our minds going on autopilot for the most part, our hands going on muscle memory and partly on instinct. Once again, it was a blur, a haze, a daze.I didn’t snap out of that until at some point I fell asleep and was awakened. By Anne, who else? She looked very worried and upset.“Darling, you collapsed from exhaustion and overwork. Don’t worry. Someone filled in the gap and we saved that patient, oddly enough an enemy combatant. A Klansman who might wish in time that he hadn’t been saved, depending on his very uncertain future. You simply pushed yourself too far. Remember, in addition to helping with patients, you also helped transport bodies out of the hospitals.“That combination must have broken you. I’ve only seen this now and then, given the sheer capacity of human adrenaline and willpower. You pushed yourself to.
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